The Final Blog? (No, you're not that lucky)

It's Christmas Eve Day in Melbourne. It has never felt so un-Christmasy in my life. At midnight last night it was a toasty 82 degrees, and extremely humid. That is NOT Christmas.

I'll tell you what does make me feel like Christmas time though... this completely sane person in his airplane:

Caught this guy (or girl) doing this when I walked out of my sauna & spa treatment

yesterday. He never wrote anything more than, "Jesus Alone." I was at least hoping for a 3rd

word that would tie everything up.

So I'm in Melbourne...

And it's not that this city is boring. Really, it's not. But how can I put it gently? Well, remember how I thought Barcelona was the greatest city in the world? Everything in Spain (and Europe) after that just couldn't measure up. I feel like Melbourne is getting a similar treatment right now. I've enjoyed Australia so much, and each destination has been so amazing, that Melbourne is playing from behind and there's no way it's gonna catch up. If I had started my trip in Melbourne?? Yeah, maybe that would affect my opinion. But after Sydney, a 5-day surf adventure, enjoying Byron Bay (the coolest small beach town in the world), Fraser Island, sailing on the WhitSundays, and getting scuba certified...how can you live up to all that? Also the fact that I am so close to being out of money & can't justify taking day trips to the cool places outside of Melbourne is affecting this final destination.

Speaking of Diving, I did indeed get my open-water certification...so watch out Paul McCullough, Navy SEAL, I'm coming for you:

So I've walked into 2 casinos in the last 4 days and I am extremely proud to say that I haven't made a single bet. Sure, it's mostly because of the aforementioned money situation, but still, that's progress. I actually played in a no-money poker tournament at my hostel's bar in Melbourne on Tuesday and I will spare you all the details, but I found myself wanting to sneak into the girl's room who did the most damage to my stack and just stand over her with my Dingo Knife in my hand. Just saying, it was a bad beat.

Speaking of my birthday (Oh, we weren't speaking about that?), my very nice, new friends on the diving boat had the chef make a cake for my birthday, and then back on the mainland that night, a few of us went out to an authentic Greek dinner. I'm thankful there are no pictures because a Polish guy (who's name I barely knew) convinced the professional Greek dancer to drag me out of my seat and make me belly dance with her in front of the whole restaurant. Again, grateful for no photographic evidence.

Let's see...what else...really emptying out the notebook as I don't have much to say about Melbourne or my last couple days.

Oh, there was a Christmas-related trivia night in the hostel bar yesterday. I decided to be on a team by myself for a couple reasons. Mostly because I convinced myself that I know Christmas so well I would enjoy the $50 bar tab (winning prize) alone. Wow that sounds incredibly sad.

Here are some sample questions:

-How many elves does Santa have working for him?

-Can you eat an actual Christmas tree without getting sick?

-Santa Claus was not originally red. What color was he?

-Does Scotland celebrate Christmas?

-During Christmas shopping, how many times per minute is a Visa card swiped? (multiple choice)

-What is the most popular Christmas song?

-When was the first Christmas card sent? (multiple choice)

Is it me or are these the vaguest, sketchiest trivia questions in history? How many elves does Santa have according to whom? Anyway, I think I came in 9th place out of 13 teams, not a great showing.

I will admit that I haven't met as many people to hang out with at this hostel as most of the others. I think it's for 2 reasons. First, this hostel has an unusually large number of "regulars," meaning people who have been here 1 month, 6 weeks, or maybe 3 months. And they are all quite cliquey with each other. And second, I got here with only a few days left on my journey. It's safe to say my effort on making friends has dwindled to an all-time low. It really is hard work. Try it yourself. Over the next 2 months, try to make 100 new friends. See how hard it is. Unless you're Mat Loving (and willing to wear awkward spandex 1-piece suits to get people to like you), I don't see it happening.

I have a question. Why are people always fascinated with Chinatowns? Aren't they all the same? Is there really anything to do or see unless you want to eat at a restaurant there? I've never understood why each city's "Chinatown" is a focal point for tourists. Anyway I think I'm rambling now because it's raining and I don't want to leave the hostel.

I think the coolest thing I'll be doing tonight is throwing away a shit load of stuff I no longer need. It's gonna be so fun to empty out as much of my backpack as possible. Crappy backup sandals that keep giving me blisters....see ya later!

I do believe there will be 1 final travel blog, though it won't be posted until I get back to SF... mostly because I don't intend to write it until I'm flying home tomorrow.

Finally, I just want to say that I fly at 1pm Melbourne time from here to Sydney tomorrow, and then I fly directly from Sydney to SF. If anything should happen to my plane on that flight to SF, do not bother with typical search & rescue procedures. Simply pop in Season 4 of "Lost" and watch carefully on how to get to the island. That's where I'll be.